So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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