so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
