You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
