I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
