please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
