It's Friday. Sex?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
