are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it because I queefed?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
