yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
