Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
