yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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