I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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