Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this just has baby written all over it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
