we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am naked and annoyed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
