I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dick very happy bro
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
