Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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