I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
