I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I have post one night stand depression
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