Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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