my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
