Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
