"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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