We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
