I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
