My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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