You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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