literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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