Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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