Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
