I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Acid is not a monday night drug
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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