is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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