i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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