It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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