My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize