There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
