The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
