why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
