My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
