Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
