It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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