she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i now understand why vodka
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
