I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
