i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize