I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
