Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize