it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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