I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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