Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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