Your tits are I can't wait for
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
