Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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