The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
third nipple confirmed
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
