is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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