I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
