Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize