you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
