i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
