Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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