I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
