is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
