He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
