This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
