I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
