i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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