I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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